Life Lesson: Mistakes of Peeing

 After drinking an entire gatorade and refusing to go pee, while on the golf course, Jaden says "Mom, I have to pee so so bad." "Jaden, just pee on the tire." First, he pees uphill......then pees INTO the wind.... OOPS! I guess I shouldn't be the one to teach him to pee outside!

 

AH-HA! BRILLIANT IDEA!! Let's airdry.....

Somewhere we hit a tree and took off his head? JK

Pix Tell All

[sticky notes!] "You can't pinch my baby boobies! Not you, not Jason!"

The wedgie machine!

I have no words......

*kiss*

While burying his pet turtle Fred, "Mom, my heart just hurts." Jason asks"Hey bud, you ready to go inside?" Jaden places his hand on his hip and sassy pants style says "Does it look like I'm ready?"

LOL Maybe he's been to a few shoots with me? Ha Ha

Boogers & Wood Chips

I [Jason] sat watching Jaden (age 4) pick his nose when he suddenly looked surprised and yelled "mommy I found a wood chip in my nose!!!" I said "dude that's just a dry booger." He wouldn't believe me. Gross.

Life Lessons

Nothing more fun than watching a 4 year old boy learn the lessons of life. Last night Jaden learned lesson #44. Let's just say he now knows what a shart feels like. He can't say we didn't warn him, he just thought it was too funny. Until it wasn't....

Jason thought it would be funny to tell him that eating gassy foods, especially beans will make him fart a lot and he'll poop his pants. I made a fabulous Fat Tuesday dinner...beans included and he was so scared to eat them. Actually, he refused to eat beans because he didn't want to shart again.

Jason, Thank you for scaring the literal shit out of this child. So much that he won't eat beans in particular for fear of shartting some more. :D

Body Parts

I have felt like crap all day. I have been super sluggish, fire heartburn, achy, and cranky. It's a no-bra-wearing-kind of day. Jaden notices my RT through my shirt. (Lovely.) "MOM! Does that hurt!!?" as he's pointing to my boobs and quite obvious RT. Classy. So funny.

I thought maybe a shower would feel nice before I start dinner and lover leaves for a meeting. Lover gets in the shower so I tell my son (almost 5) I'm going to go get in the shower with him. "Eeeewwww! It's because you want to see his wiener! And he's going to see your va-jay-jay!!" *facepalm* Actually I feel like crap and I will feel better if I wash my hair. I join my lover in the shower and attempt a little impromptu sexy moment and my son starts banging on the door and I can hear him yelling " Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay!" as he's jumping on my bed. "Are you guys still naked?" "Why are you ignoring me?"  "Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay!" Ughhh. Kids complicate those sexy time moments. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not. I lock my bedroom door with said obnoxious child out of the room.... and continue (or try to)... my son again banging on the door "Why is there music on?" <to drown you out child!> "Are you done yet?" "Are you looking at his wiener?" <you have no idea!!> OMG. UBER annoyed now. I'll go eat some chocolate and take a bath and somehow pull myself up out of the tub. LOVE being a pregnant mom sometimes. Ha ha

Jaden: " Mom, whats the shiny stuff in your shirt?" (noticing my stretched shimmering black tank top)

Me: "It's the elastic in my shirt so that it can stretch over my belly."

Jaden :"You're a...oh, I can't say that."

Me: "Say what?"

Jaden: "You know, that word I said at Bertney's house that I'm not supposed to say."

Me: "Fat ass??"

Jaden: "Yes, you're that." Lol....Thank you son....


Yes, this ALL today. 2-21-2012

Fat Ass

While we (parents) were at the doctors office, Jaden was playing at my friends house. His butt got stuck between the chair and the couch.....it goes like this...:

Bertney: "Hey Jaden come sit by me."
Jaden: "I'm stuck. If only I could get my fat ass up there!"
HAHAHAHA
Jaden "Don't tell my mom I said fat ass! Ooops! I said it again. Don't tell her I said that!"

....Of course I was told because it was sooooo funny!


"Mom, why do my pants not stay up?"
"It's because you don't have a big butt like I do."
"Oh mom, I wish I had a big butt like you."

WHOA to the Lab

While sitting in the lab at the doctors office, Jaden notices a woman who is quite heavy (400+lbs). As she stands up, Jaden yells "WHOA HER IS BIG" and we try to cover up his mouth he got even louder. I thought about making him apologize but I didn't because I didn't want to draw more attention.

2-6-12

Batman Boobs

Jaden notices Grandma L's boobs.

Jaden: "You only have 2 boobs?"
Grandma:"Yes, just 2."
Jaden: "I want boobs."
Grandma: "Only girls have boobs. If you want boy boobs you have to go to the gym."
Jaden: "How about Batman boobs?!"

11-20-2010